Stephen Green has a letter for Iowa Republicans; UPDATED and BUMPED

I like Stephen Green, AKA the VodkaPundit. If anyone's visited Pajamas Media, and read his live, drunk-blogging debate coverage, you the guy is smart, funny, and, well, a good drunk. But today he offers up a sober letter to Iowa Republicans that we can't disagree with:

Dear Iowa Republicans,

I’ll put this in language even your tiny little Iowa brains can understand: What the f*** is wrong with you people?

The news coming out of Des Moines (literally, French for “tell me about the rabbits, George”) tonight is distressing in the extreme. 32 years ago, your Democratic brethren took one look at Jimmy Carter -- the worst 20th Century President bar Nixon, and the worst ex-President ever -- and declared, “That’s our man!”

Three decades later, and along comes Mike Huckabee. Same moral pretentiousness, same gullibility on foreign affairs, only-slightly-less toothy idiot’s grin. Then you so-called Republicans took a look at Carter’s clone and said, “That’s our man, too!”

And by a pretty wide margin.

I’ll give you some credit where it's due: you guys had sense enough to give Fred Thompson a breather, and Ron Paul a pretty solid kick in the (ahem) nuts. But Mike Huckabee? Really? We’ve seen this game before, and its name is... every other single stupid, un-winnable candidate you’ve ever picked -- which is most of them.

So I repeat the question: What is wrong with you people?

All my love, you corn-sucking idiots,

VodkaPundit

PS You're making Iowa Democrats look like Albert freakin' Einstein. How's that feel?

The humor is evident so for any of our readers in Iowa, don't get your knickers in a twist. He has a valid point. Those that voted for the Huckster got taken by a guy from Arkansas that could have led a dual life as a governor and a used car salesmen. The only benefits that were reaped last night came from Romney's second-place finish, and Fred's third-place finish. (I still think the bigger news is Rudy's finish in a state he didn't even campaign in compared to Hillary's disgusting third-place finish in a state that she spent a ton of money in and was campaigning hard in.) Given that, he's right about Iowa Democrats showing shades of genius.

The Huckster's going to get a bounce heading into New Hampshire, but his fight is just beginning. John McCain has pulled out all the stops to court the Independent voters there who get a chance to vote in the primary caucus. McCain is counting on them to vault him into a first-or-second-place finish, and for him, nothing else will suffice. If he comes in third or below in New Hampshire he might as well hang up the spurs.

The wrench in the works is still Ron Paul. Yes, he's a nut. Yes his supporters are nuts, but they're also fairly well organized, and they will also make an appeal to the Independent voters in an effort to catapult him into a top-three finish. If that happens, he'll stick around until South Carolina. If he doesn't make a win, show, or place, he should also hang up the spurs, and go riding off into the sunset on his damn blimp.

Again, I go back to Rudy. Don't sell him short just yet. Remember that his entire strategy has focused around South Carolina, diving into Florida, and taking the primary states on 5 February. If he doesn't get third-place or better in SC or Florida, and 5 February doesn't pan out the way he had hoped, he'll be gone, too.

But Iowa Republicans I just don't get. They never seem to think about the same things the rest of the country does, and they seem to be easily schmoozed by a guy with an "aw shucks" attitude and a grin.

Publius II

UPDATE: It seems that some people didn't like Mr. Green's amusing post today. Take a look at the comments at Hot Air on this subject. some seem to think that Mr. Green was out of line and forces a division in the party (oh puh-leeze), and others are saying he's spot on.

Me, I think he has a valid point, and it's one that's been issued before with regard to Iowa. Why are they the starting point of the primaries? It seems as though they are a tad out of touch with not only the base of the party (evident in the Huckster's win last night) but also out of touch with the issues the nation, as a whole, is looking at. I'm not saying that their votes don't count, or that their opinion isn't welcome. On the contrary, everyone's is. But they obviously didn't do the digging necessary to make a reasoned and informed decision.

Some at Hot Air are saying that this is a swipe at Evangelicals. No it's not. It's a humorous attempt to understand what Iowans were thinking last night (and clearly, Mr. Green doesn't think they were thinking), not a knock on religious people. I think some of those at Hot Air ought to lighten up a bit. It was an amusing post, nothing more really. If you can't chuckle at it, and you get all bent out of shape because you don't like the joke, then maybe being a pundit isn't your cup of tea.

But hey, at least the guys at Hot Air aren't rioting over the post.

Publius II